How much attention are you paying to the number of “likes” you get on social media? Do you seek constant feedback from others to feel valued? What do you think of when you hear the word “Ego”? Is it a negative connotation? What about “Warrior”? Can a warrior be meek and still be strong? Host, Mike Domitrz, along with CAST members Alan Anderson, Rick Clemons, Barry Moniak, and Pat Corrigan Culotti investigate the quandary, “If our primary goal is to serve others, how can our ego serve us?”
The quote that inspired this conversation is “The warrior of meek has abandoned gain, victory, and fame, leaving them far behind. You are not dependent on feedback from others because you have no doubt about yourself. You do not rely on encouragement or discouragement; therefore, you also have no need to display your valor to others.” from Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior, by Chögyam Trungpa
Subscribe to the Everyday Mindfulness Show.
[1:58] Mike reads a quote from Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior and asks the CAST how they detach from their need for approval.
[8:22] Establishing fame to benefit other people.
[14:09] Acknowledging the ego and allowing it to mature.
[17:21] What it means to be a spiritual warrior.
[19:45] How Pat balances being measured in her work with being in the service of others.
[31:37] Deliver from a place of complete presence.
Welcome to the “Everyday Mindfulness” Show. The off-the-cuff exploration of everyday aha moments and life experiences. Join a cast of over 70 uniquely brilliant individuals. Each week Mike Domitrz and an eclectic mix of cast members and special guests will engage in mindful and lively conversations, about everything, from meditation, to spirituality, to personal passions, to successes and failures, to relationships. To the stuff that makes up the moments of our daily lives.
Let’s get started with your host, author, speaker, provocateur, and a bit of a goofball, Mike Domitrz.
This week’s program is brought to you by the “Can I Kiss You?” program. An interactive, how-to skills based program for school systems, universities, and the U.S. military throughout the world, addressing consent, bystander intervention, respecting boundaries, how to talk about what would you want and don’t want and supporting survivors of sexual assault.
Now, for many of the listeners out there know this is what I do for a living. I travel the world giving the “Can I Kiss You?” program and many other trainings throughout the world. So, yes, this is me that you’re bringing in to speak. If you’re interested, contact our offices, ask for Rita at the Date Safe project. Our website’s datesafeproject.org, or you can call Rita at 800-329-9390. That’s this week’s sponsor of this episode.
Hello, I’m your host Mike Domitrz and thrilled to be here with our cast from the “Everyday Mindfulness” Show. This week’s cast includes Alan Anderson, Rick Clemons, Barry Moniak, and Pat Corrigan Culotti. And they are all here with us and you can learn all about them and our brilliant cast at everydaymindfulnessshow.com.
This week we’re going to get right into it. This week’s quote comes from the book, “Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior,” and here is the quote we’re going to discuss. The quote is, “The warrior of the meek has abandoned gain, victory and fame. Leaving them far behind. You do not rely on encouragement or discouragement. Therefore, you also have no need to display your valor to others.”
Now, based on that quote, it’s tough because we live in a society that almost feeds itself off … you create a Facebook post and many people like your post, especially if it’s a personal post? People want to see who liked or who commented, and this quote involves both detachment and not depending on approval of others. There’s a lot in that quote.
So in a world where we really become more attached to approval maybe, because we can get it so easily in so many different sources, where do you turn to, to like, help your emotional and/or intellectual search for approval and/or success, and be able to detach from that?
Barry, I’m going to start with you. There is this community or culture of how many likes did I get, what’s going on, on Facebook, what comments did I miss? How do you detach, and how does that deal with, also our own need for approval or that concept of success?
You’re right. We’re living in a very interesting time paradigm where because of the Internet and social media there’s so much awareness of what’s going on in the world, and the world has a certain amount of awareness of what we’re up to. I think some of it, when we’re talking about likes, it almost reminds me of something in like grade school, junior high school, you know. How important it is to us to be liked.
I think as mature adults, especially if we’re following any kind of path of enlightenment, it would be nice to start transcending that to the people who I’m really wanting to connect with, like me. That seems like a better quality question than just how many.
The other side of that is in business, because of the Internet, we’re able to find out what other people’s experiences of a product or service are, and that’s been a very valuable thing because it’s caused a lot of companies to raise the bar on the way they go about doing business.
The things we’ve seen recently in the news, United, and a couple of other airlines where something was caught and they can’t hide that anymore. They can’t do a spin on it. No, we saw it. We know exactly what went down. Well, that causes them to have to raise the bar.
As an individual in our path towards peace, sanctity, enlightenment, however we want to language it, I think it comes down to me being okay with me and having a few select people in my inner circle that I can look to for that reflection of “How am I showing up? How do I look to you folks?” Because, to the rest of the world, not everybody’s going to like me, not everybody’s going to get me, so if I’m dependent on that I’m shackled to a place in time that I’m never gonna get away from.
And that’s the trap, right? It’s addictive. It is that addictive place of, “Give me more feedback. Give me more approval.” And how do you, one, how do you separate it from it while still being able to use it as a tool? Right? Because we’re not trying to say for somebody … and I just happen to be using this example to start off of social media, but this quote about abandoning gain, victory, and fame, leaving them far behind, very true of the social media world and the entertainment world.
Where else can it apply? Where else can it apply to our lives? Where we can get caught up in that? I think, like on top of mind, I think a lot of people fall into that trap in the workplace. In my world as a speaker, maybe I can fall under the trap of, am I getting certain awards that other people are getting? Does it bother me that I’m not nominated for those? That I am nominated for those? We get caught up in that. If I’m somebody in a corporate position, am I comparing my position to others, and, I’m not making the next move up the ladder like they are? So I’m comparing my value based on this victory or this fame of everybody noticing me.
I think there’s so many different levels this can fall into, is what are ways the others of you see this applying to everyday life for everyone out there? This abandoning the gain, the victory, and the fame?
Well, it’s really interesting to me, because, I think if your mind is going to the categories of fame and gain and all that, it means your mind is not in the place where it should be. You know? So, it should be on … say you’re doing a performance or something it should be on that precise mind moment-to-moment experience. But instead your mind goes to the eternal question,”How am I doing? How am I doing?” You know?
Then you start judging and then you start gauging how things are going, and I know because I’ve been … I’ve done a lot of study through the Shambhala organization, and so it works with this mindfulness of tiger, and that’s exactly what it is. The real idea of tiger is being discern … having discernment and being able to be content, and it’s really tied to, actually, everyday mindfulness. It’s like mindfulness and attention to perception. These are the things that it’s about.
So, in my mind, to sum this up, if our mind stays on being so attentive like a tiger would be in the jungle, swimming through the jungle with every hair feeling everything, I think that’s where our minds should be in terms of our expression of our daily experiences as opposed to jumping off and saying, “How am I doing? How am I doing?”
Yeah, it would be funny because that would be based on the tiger having all the other animals applaud as he swam through the … as he swam through the river. Versus actually being alert. So I love that concept. I love the picture of that and how that works.
So, for those that haven’t read the book, you brought up on there that this is the tiger in reference. So, just to back up a little bit, the warrior of the meek is represented by a tiger, is that what you’re saying?
That’s correct, yes.
Yeah, and so just for anybody hearing that, I love that concept. That if you’re present in the now, you’re not so worried about those things. I had a friend, who, by all traditional measurements was highly successful and would say, “No, I am seeking fame. I mean, I’ll outright tell you I’m seeking fame. Because with fame, I can reach millions and make a difference in this world.” How does that fit in this? Does that fit in this?
I don’t know that there’s anything bad, wrong, or stupid about that, Mike. If his intent for establishing fame is to benefit other people, that seems like a very worthy cause. That would be what I would consider a path of the spiritual warrior. If the fame is for self-gratification, then I don’t know if I could buy into it as much.
Well I guess the question there would be that do you fall into the trap of the self-gratification along with journey to help others? Or, you know, how do you steer clear of that?
That’s the dilemma. The more people like you the more it seems to raise our idea of ourself and that’s where the train can leave the tracks.
So between both what Barry has said and Alan has said it’s being present in the moment right now, right here, today, this second. Not what’s going to happen even five minutes from now, but right now in the second that is key to keeping our eyes off so far into the future on that “What am I getting from this?”
I was horrible at this in the past. I remember, and I’ve shared this before, about experiences to go to this conference but I didn’t know what I was going to get out of it, and I kept calling the conference person saying, “What is the purpose of this thing, if I’m going to fly all the way and be there?” And they’re like, “Can you just come and be present?”
I was so focused on, “No, I do things for … I’m not going to waste my time.” And so I do things because I have a deliberate outcome, and I didn’t understand at that time in my life that a deliberate outcome could be just to explore. That there wouldn’t be something that I have to measure as success by, “I’m going to learn this thing to make more money.” It doesn’t have to be financially oriented. It doesn’t have to mean that my business is gonna grow 10 times. It could just be to explore. And that of itself is a very valuable experience.
I think the balance is, looking to how you want to be of service, and also understanding in that being of service that fame may come with that, and as long as that fame is doing the good in the world, and it’s also showing you that you’re doing what you’ve been put here on the earth to do, I think that’s the fine balance in all of this. And I do think there’s justification for saying, as you were just saying, Mike, okay, I may not go to something because I need to know what the outcome is gonna be, but if you come from a place of, how does this enable me to be of service, I think that’s one of the … I know for me that’s one of the key questions I always ask.
In fact, I was literally just asking myself that question before we got on this call because I was considering going to a conference, and then I was going, “Okay, well how will this enable me to be more of service to those that I choose to serve?” And, I’m still kind of muddling in my brain about that right now, but I think that’s one of the keys, is where do you find the balance in all this that then fame and everything else really is just an illusion. It’s just part of you being who you’re meant to be here on the planet.
Rick, I think … this is Alan, again. I think that’s really interesting, of how many opportunities we have throughout any given day for any of us, whether we’re going to take that leap that’s into the self-gratification or displaying your valor, as we said.
It happens constantly, doesn’t it?
Yeah. I mean, it’s a constant thing and I know, similar to what Mike said, and I still struggle with it from time to time, but, my ego can, like, be huge. Until I ask the question, “How is that serving you, and how is it serving others?” And every time I ask that question that’s the thing that kind of tells my ego to go sit in the corner, and put the little cap on and be a bad boy over there, because I need to operate everything from a place of service.
Now, that service may also be to myself. Because I do believe in, because I’m a speaker as well, that when I have the opportunity to be on stage and speak, or when I get to conduct a workshop or when I get to do my podcast I realize I am just a vessel of humanity here to serve.
But also in that moment I’m serving myself, because this is what brings me alive. This is what helps me be excited about life. So I think that’s where I’ve found the balance for myself is, it’s a duality that I realize these two play in the sandbox really nicely together.
What I love what you said about, “My ego is big,” the key thing was you had to identify it and say it out loud. Right? We’ve talked about this. Brene Brown powerfully talks about what’s in the dark can grow. What’s in the light we have to address and deal with. I love that idea of saying, “Hey ego, yeah, I’ve got an ego, and I need to address that so I can see how it’s playing its role.” Versus what a lot of people, you know, we want to do in our lives going, “That’s not my ego. I’m all well intentioned. I have no ego here.”
We all have ego there. So it’s a matter of saying the opposite, right? Of, “No, my ego is present, how is it showing? Where is it showing in this moment? How is it being present in this moment? How does that impact whether I’m going for the right intention here of the gain, the victory, or the fame? Or the service?” Right?
Those two very different directions, and just being able to call that out and say, “Hey, I see you, ego.” It’s like meditation. If you feel something coming in and you say, “Hey, I see you, anger,” that’s different than just going, “Anger’s here, push it away, push it away.” That’s different than saying, “No, I see you, anger. You’re here, I get that you’re here.” It allows you to address it, and be present in that experience versus just trying to ignore it.
Mike, this is Barry. It feels like a little bit like we’re pointing a finger at ego, like it’s not such a good thing. It needs to know its place. That was the part, Rick, that I couldn’t wrap my mind around. Oh yeah, but the ego needs to go sit in the corner. I don’t think we ever want to chastise our ego, but we really want to do is allow it to mature, allow it to become more sophisticated, and this is where I come back to that thing of me, myself. I can have a certain relationship with myself as ego. Just to say that is a little bit weird because it’s the ego saying it’s having a relationship with itself.
If I have a small circle of people around me that have the wherewithal to give me clear valid reflection, that’s where I’m going to temper my ego and learn how to do better things with it, because … Mike, you and I have known each other for a while. And if I’m going on a tangent, I could trust that you would say, “Now wait a minute, Barry, what’s going on over there?”
Yeah, I think we’re on the same place. I’ve used the putting the ego in the corner to help me tame it, so that I know when it’s showing up. I also believe that there’s a beautiful space for my ego to kind of get things done.
When my ego is in the right space, it’s about crossing the t’s, dotting the i’s, getting the functional stuff done, that I say, “Okay, you’re better at this than the heart or the soul, so to speak, so go do that stuff.” But, putting it in the corner was how I learned to start to see it, as Mike said, I learned to bring it out into the light where I could actually go, “Okay, wow, you need a little bit of taming time.”
Now, I realize there are moments that I kind of have to let the ego show up in order to make things happen, and I think that’s a really fine balance and it’s not … it’s never 100%. It’s a constant growing and learning, at least for me it is.
I love what we’re saying here because, yeah, that idea of saying, “I see you, anger,” “I see you, ego,” in no way shuns it. It actually says I acknowledge you. By acknowledging I see that you bring value in my life. But, how are you acting right now? It’s that concept of having that conversation with those elements of our mind, and how they appear and how they show up. They can be so, so powerful.
And I love what you said about owning our ego. I think of, for everyone listening right now is, where does your ego aid you? Aid you and the world? Right? Because, if it just aids you that’s ego feeding ego. Where does it age you and support you on your mission in the world.
So I can think from my example someone is wondering, well, what does that look like? Well, let’s say that I’m on stage in front of 1,000 people, and somebody’s asking a very difficult question, and that audience might perceive as a heckling moment to me, the presenter. My ego can step in and go, “You got this. You don’t need to shut that person down, you got this. Engage, make this fun, and understand them.” My ego can be very powerful there, versus freaking out and going, “Oh no, I better shut this down before it goes any further.” That’s an unhealthy approach.
So it’s how you listen to it that brings that balance, and it brings that support to you potentially.
Can we talk for just a moment about what it is to be a warrior? Specifically a spiritual warrior? Because I think all of us have dabbled in some forms of spirituality and spiritual learning experiences, and I find that an awful lot of people out in the world have a misinterpretation or misconception of what a spiritual warrior is, because of the word “warrior.”
Yeah, absolutely, and I struggled with that. I struggled with that throughout the book, because I kept thinking I love so much of what this book is saying, but, to call myself a warrior does that sort of go against everything the book is saying? I found it almost a written-in contradiction as I was reading the book. For me I never felt the book addressed it in a way that made me feel good with the word.
Well, you know, the idea of the warrior is that … it actually comes from Tibetan, but it’s about overcoming warfare. So that’s kind of a big jump, you know, as opposed to creating warfare. So overcoming it is then done through the two paths of [inaudible 00:18:34], of fearlessness and gentleness. So, imagining a warrior who is gentle and fearless, not in terms of not experiencing fear but being able to walk into fear. So the warrior analogy I think Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche used is to say it takes that same kind of experience of I’m willing to go into this even though I want to back away.
Because typically, we’re either jumping into things or backing away from things, right? The path of the tiger, of meek, is actually being there so present that you can ride things as they’re going along, as opposed to doing the jump away or jump towards. That’s a pretty huge thing, so he’s equating that with the warrior state of mind of fearlessness but not in terms of any kind of aggression, completely free from aggression.
I love that, Alan. That was spot on, because it’s that willingness to show up that I resonate with that warrior consciousness. There’s something in front of me, am I gonna show up and deal with it in the most impeccable way possible? To me that calls on my warrior spirit to go, “Okay, let’s do this.”
So, question. For someone listening who goes, “Wait, I’ve got a job that’s measurement-based,” I don’t mean me personally but maybe someone … well, we all do in some form or fashion potentially. But somebody goes, “If I don’t hit benchmarks I don’t have a job. So how am I not to look at certain benchmarks as the drive to why I do … or the drive to whether I’m successful or not?” That word “success.” This idea that I don’t rely on encouragement or discouragement. It’s that old success or failure do not drive me. But for that person who says, “Yes they have to or I won’t have a job.” How do you respond to that?
Well, after having done quite a few years of business consulting and coaching, if people only look at the task at hand, then that’s all the information they have to work with. I have to hit this quota, or hit these numbers, get this done. Well, then that is what it is.
When we can zoom the lens out and go, “Well, how could this function help you in other aspects of your job, your life? How could it prepare you for other things,” that’s where people start to get more excited going, “Oh, it’s like learning a skill.” So to possibly oversimplify it, it’s the wax on, wax off. The application of the wax had very little to do with what he was going to be able to do with it, but it was training something.
Oftentimes what people are doing can be used as a training for other things if their mind is willing to expand a little bit to see it that way.
The other thing too is, what’s the why behind it? Why is it important that they hit those numbers or they don’t have a job? When we get behind these things, it’s, well, okay, what happens if you don’t have a job? Why is this job important to you? What does that mean for you and your life?
I think the whys are what really drive a lot of this stuff, for most of us, but I’d also be really curious to know what Patricia thinks on this.
Pat Corrigan Culotti:
I’m just wondering … I don’t know what all of you do but what I do, it requires to sit back and be as present as I possibly can, because I … and I enjoy what I do very, very much, which is teach a martial art. And I find that there’s always this constant discussion around what a warrior is, and what that means to each person that’s, especially getting into a martial situation.
But for me it’s always about being as present as you can, and not letting the ego be too much running in the forefront all the time, just for the purpose of gaining more notoriety and things like that, and especially being female in the field, it’s been a very interesting dynamic that I’ve encountered in my life, and had to take a lot of moments when I would sit back and just allow the males to go into their ego spaces, which is not in the terms that you’re talking about it, but more for glorification and trying to get more notoriety and just had to sit back and go, “Hmm, interesting.”
From that standpoint I guess I’ve struggled with it to sometimes, you know, just trying to stay conscious of how the students I work with want to find their mindful places in their lives without having the ego be overriding certain things, that they’re not feeling very present at the moment. It’s an interesting discussion to me, and I’m … I feel that there’s a lot of things I need to learn about it, and I’m just finding this fascinating, what you’re all talking about.
Pat, what style do you teach?
Pat Corrigan Culotti:
I teach Tai Chi, a Yang-style based form. I teach it also for people that are very, very infirm. I teach seniors and people that are challenged in their bodies, but I also teach people that are very able-bodied. So, it runs the gamut, and for me, always, it’s sitting back and not letting my expertise take over when I’m really always taking the time to learn from the students that I have. That’s really important to me because they offer so much even though they think they don’t know what they’re doing. I always learn from that experience.
I always say that if I don’t continue to learn from the experience that I have to stop teaching. It wouldn’t be productive for me and for the students that I have, so …
Well, you’re brilliant at when … so it, for those listening, I’ve been in Pat’s classes so you’re brilliant at making each person feel like they are where they belong. You know, I think when somebody goes to something like that for the first time, I know myself included, there is this bit of, “Am I going to make a fool of myself in some way?” And because of what I do for a living there’s a little bit of, “That’s okay if I do,” but I know it’s still there, that that’s present, and you make that comfortable for the person to experience at whatever level they’re experiencing, this learning something very new, and the opposite of what culture teaches, right? Because the martial art you teach, it has to be very present and slow.
Pat Corrigan Culotti:
When people come to martial arts they think, “I’m gonna learn fast motion, I’m gonna do…” so it’s already putting people out of their zone, potentially.
When I think of your classes, and I think … a lot of people think, oh, let’s talk about that martial art [x 00:25:14] side of it, I’m curious, how do you balance the need to have a full room with what you want to do when they’re in the room?
So how does that show up for you, because I assume, and I could be wrong here, that the organizations you work through want you to have as many people in that room as possible. So they’re looking at numbers, but you’re looking at the experience for the people. How do you balance that?
Pat Corrigan Culotti:
Yeah, that’s always a challenge, because the numbers also pay me. The more numbers there are the more income I make, and it’s based … most of my classes are based on that. So that is always a little bit of a quandary because, yeah, you’re right, I really don’t want it … I wish I didn’t have it … have to have it be about that and I could just be … let it be teaching what I enjoy and love and encouraging people to be more mindful in their lives so that they can really feel and experience the physical body in a way that allows them to tap into more of their spiritual element as well.
It’s an interesting dynamic and it goes into … there’s a whole lot of other things that it taps into because people are sometimes in a religious bent. They really are opposed to anything I have to offer, because they feel it’s against what their beliefs are, and then there’s the people that are very open to it.
So, there’s always that delicate balance. Are you just teaching a physical practice or are you teaching a mental practice or are you teaching a spiritual practice; and you’re really teaching all of it. So keeping that balance so that people stay interested and intrigued and … I wish I didn’t have to have any concerns about the numbers but, you know, I do, I do.
That I think fits in with the quote really well about … because the quote’s really about what are we focusing on. Really, when you really look at this whole thing, right, ourselves, or what’s at hand at the moment and what we’re doing. So for you, I’m curious Pat, do you find that … a lot of speakers have this conversation too, which is, this concept of, yes, let’s say it’s, you know, $75 for a class. I’m making that up for anybody listening that would like … it’s just the number I came up with.
But let’s say it’s $75 for a class. So, instead of thinking, “Oh, I hate talking about the numbers,” do you think, “Well, if we get somebody in for that 75, the difference it could make in their lives is well beyond that small investment?” Or even if they considered it a big investment, it’s still going to take them to a place that’s well beyond that big investment. Is there a little bit of self-talk that helps you be more comfortable with that?
Pat Corrigan Culotti:
Sure, yeah. There is, always. It’s interesting that you’re talking about this cost thing because, I just had a woman call me this morning and she really wants to take part … I’m offering a weekend retreat, I’m actually … it’s not for me, it’s somebody who is a master teacher that’s coming from California, is running a workshop over the Memorial Day weekend, and it’s a student of mine who could really benefit from it, but she just can’t afford it.
So, it’s like, “Oh, can I lend you the money?” I mean, it’s like, I’d love to have her be there just because I know she’d find so much value in it, because I know her a little bit and she’s actually an old student that’s just recently come back, and all this, but it’s a challenge, because it seems to stop people sometimes, and especially senior populations. Oh, they can’t afford it, they can’t pay for it.
I’m part of right now a research project where the seniors are all getting the course for free and the books and the videos, and … just for their input in parts of the research. There’s a huge group and they’re all excited about it, and yet some of them didn’t show up the first couple of days of class, even though they had this free gift. It’s interesting that, that doesn’t always … that whole cost thing is not all about … it’s not the only thing that is-
Oh, that’s a whole nother show, because there’s a lot of discussion we could have on if you give it for free they don’t show up because there’s no value. If they do go above and beyond what they would normally ever spend, they’re showing up, and they’re invested but that’s a whole nother, whole nother conversation.
Pat Corrigan Culotti:
Mike, there’s an interesting aspect to what Pat’s bringing to the table here. I’ve been involved with martial arts for 45 some years, and what I think most people think of, even most people who practice martial arts is getting into the more combative side of the equation.
When you really get into the more esoteric altruistic systems, it begins with the Tai Chi. Learning how to be in your body, how to be in space and time, how to move through space and time, and until you have some level of mastery of that, then the other art forms are going to be limited at best because you haven’t done basics.
There’s a certain honor for people who have invested the time to learn how to be in their body and move through space. How to act and interact with another human being’s body and then apply the more martial applications. It changes the mindset, and I think that goes to what we’re talking about here. If people were willing to do a little bit of internal work to see who are you? How do you show up? How do you move through the situations in your day to day life?
Now we can start applying these other things. Oh, I speak, I consult, I this and that, but I’ve got an internal point of reference to go back to, to go, “Okay, but how am I really doing with my internal mission?”
Oh, I agree with you 100%. I was in … years ago I was in TaeKwonDo, loved it. I got up to high red, which is like one step below black, and anybody who knows martial arts knows that’s just the beginning of the beginning, as far as that goes.
But it was interesting, to do that, was like, people looked up to you, right? But if you say, and I’m sure Pat’s aware of this too, if you say oh, I’m doing Tai Chi, people go, “Oh, that’s interesting, what is that?”
If you say you are doing TaeKwonDo and people are like, “Oh, that’s tough.” That’s … you get all the fame, you get all the claim if you’re doing TaeKwonDo, because they see that as that warrior battle mentality, but the Tai Chi, which is, in many ways, much more, without a doubt, takes more mental challenge in some ways and really being focused and present, yeah, there’s a totally … and I think it works brilliantly with this quote because, what are you seeking?
If you like the fact that, “Oh look, I’m black belt in TaeKwonDo.” If that’s why you’re doing it you might be in it for the wrong reason.
Yeah, I think that we get way too ahead of ourselves. I think this is kind of at the root of this entire quote and this conversation, is, if we get way ahead of ourselves we’re not going to remember … we’re really just absolutely going to forget the building blocks that brought us to that point. So that was points of valor or being a great martial artist and all that.
Where it starts, its starts somewhere and it starts methodically, and starts very thoroughly, and I think that’s why the image of the tiger, again, is that you start with this image of paying really close attention to all your sense perceptions, paying really close attention to your … to the [inaudible 00:32:25] of the environment around you.
So I think the problem with ego happens when we forget about that step where we’re supposed to really deliver from. We’re supposed to deliver from the idea of complete presence, ownership of all of our difficulties, and all that, and just be completely there. I think we just skip that step so often, and I think it’s difficult, so i think going back to saying, “What are my building blocks?” My building blocks are openness, like that tiger, touching each paw gently, like feeling every leaf, smelling every smell. This I’m speaking sort of an analogy, but I think that kind of attention …
And just one more thing. It’s like listening to music on an elevator as opposed to hearing something live and beautiful like a great concert in person. It’s like, that’s the kind of listening you need. That’s the kind of attentiveness we need with our lives.
Alan, you could not have wrapped up this episode any better right there. So we are going to let that wrap us up.
I want to thank all of you for being on. For everyone listening, you can go to the website and find all these brilliant personalities and how to connect with them. You’ve been listening to Alan Anderson, Rick Clemons, Barry Moniak, Pat Corrigan Culotti. Check them out at everydaymindfulnessshow.com.
Until next time, may you enjoy everyday mindfulness in your life.
Three quick reminders. One, please subscribe to the “Everyday Mindfulness” show on iTunes. Already subscribed? Then encourage others to join us by inviting them to subscribe to the show. Two, while on iTunes download all the latest episodes. Three, reviews help more people find out about the show. Would you please go into iTunes and write a review? Doing so helps spread the mission of the show.
We appreciate you being a part of our vibrant, oftentimes silly and always vulnerable community. If you have an idea, a thought, want to sponsor the show or just want to say hi, send us an email at email@example.com. And check us out at everydaymindfulnessshow.com.
Have a joyful, mindful week.
Mentioned in This Episode:
Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior, by Chögyam Trungpa
Alan Anderson is a long-time mindfulness practitioner, and teaches to a wide range of students from children to adult; from Harley-Davidson cohort to a tent full of 200 Buddhists. He is the founder Windhorse Retreat Center, Arts & Mindfulness for Academic Progress, and teaches through Arts@Large, Growing Minds, and Shambhala International. Prior to this, he was a professional jazz musician for 20 years and toured and recorded with Paul Cebar, playing your basic New Orleans musical gumbo.
Rick Clemons is the Author of Frankly My Dear I’m Gay, Host of The Coming Out Lounge podcast, certified life coach, TEDx Speaker, world record holder, and a guy who’s helped 1,000’s of people in over 50 countries across the globe come out of the closets of their lives to escape their bullshit, explore their fears, and elevate their f*cking self-expression.
Pat Corrigan Culotti, CTI, MTF began her studies of traditional Yang-style Tai Chi and Qigong exercises in 1977, under the tutelage of world-renown instructors. Inspired by their wisdom and the healthful benefits of Tai Chi, Pat started to teach Tai Chi herself in 1981. Pat holds certification as a Master Instructor of Tai Chi Fundamentals®, from
Tricia Yu, MA, CTI, allowing her to train and certify others to teach this medically recommended movement system of tai chi.
Barry Moniak brings insightful experience and profound discovery to his entertaining interactive presentations. He inspires audiences to embrace a “befriend fear” mindset to build focused, energized, synergistic winning teams. Known affectionately as the “CEO Whisperer,” Barry gets leaders to not see people as they think they are, but rather as they truly are. He identifies operational strengths and weaknesses and creates a “befriend fear” modus operandi. This is the foundation for an extraordinary, winning, synergistic culture.
The Sponsor of This Week’s Episode:
The “Can I Kiss You?” Book & Instructor’s Guide from DateSafeProject.org.
Leave a Reply